• 11:42 Been trying to escape today. There's a big black bird on the other side of the invisible wall. I will destroy it. #
• 12:22 Something strange has happened. The minislave no longer walks on all fours. It has stood up like the big slaves. Wobbly, small and weak tho. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 14:33 A good 9 hour long daytime nap is really the way to go. I recommend it. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 11:15 BIRD! BIRD BIRD BIRD on the balcony! BIRD! #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 15:23 For the first time in ages the she-slave hs been home alone for days. No minislave till the afternoon. This is a strange situation. #
• 15:25 More strangeness: She-slaved moved my dirtbox out of my room and into the hall. More changes are afoot, I think. I reserve judgement. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 16:14 Have successfully made she-slave annoyed by keeping the minislave awake. Ha-hah! #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 17:05 The slaves returned, all three of them. The minislave is moving quicker, and is anxious to learn - she keeps following me. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 18:46 The slaves have still not returned. A possible replacement arrived today. Slept on his head to prevent him leaving. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 19:24 The slaves left and took the minislave with them. A former slave has been providing food. They will pay the price upon their return. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 12:55 There are bags out. Things are going into the bags. Something weird is going on. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 15:27 The minislave dropped a fish on the floor for me to eat. Strangely didn't taste of fish. Ate it anyway, but will have to reprimand her later #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 09:19 *Yawn* The minislave woke me up by screaming in my ear and pulling on my fur. Never have I seen such a desire to learn from the master. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 15:11 I hopped the pathetic excuse for a fence the slaves use to keep the minislave off the outdoor viewing platform. It's nice out here. #
• 15:21 Blast! The She-slave thinks I need rescuing and is bringing me back inside. She will pay for her insolence. #
• 18:26 There is a DOG in my domain. It is little and easily scared. The minislave has it it terrified, however. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 07:55 Don't know what's wrong with the slaves. I told them to grovel, they ignored me. I sang songs of their doom, they ignored me. They will pay. #
• 07:57 Oh great. I galloped around my domain a few times, and now the minislave is following me. Man is she ever slow. #
• 08:15 NOW the minislave is getting her paws in my wine. I am not impressed with this. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

• 20:49 The minislave was very alert today. She seemed to understand my order that she assault my Sister, at least. She needs to use harder weapons. #

I am sending you this information through LoudTwitter. They please me for the moment.

It has been quite some time since I last graced you with my presence. I am certain that you've missed me. Please, feel free to bask in my greatness once more.

In the time that has passed, my nemesis, Captain America, has found himself an ally. His sidekick, I have heard the slaves saying, is a former Prime Minister (whatever that is?) of the country we live in. I think they said his name was William Lyon Mackenzie. Not that it matters, I have already removed his foot, thus crippling him.

I've also begun training a new she-slave, although she was rather useless when the other slaves brought her to me as an offering to appease me in my greatness. Why, in the beginning, she was much smaller than I am, even, and all she did was lie there, stare, and sleep. The training went very slowly at that point.



She did get bigger, and was a rather fine source of sleeping warmth for me - although still not particularly good at things like providing me with food, or grooming, or the appropriate adoration that is my due.



She has become larger, however, and is much more capable, these days, of providing me with at least adequate grooming attention. As you can see below in this photo of one of my training sessions, she is very attentive and malleable, and has capably mastered grovelling at my feet.



I will do my best in the future to keep you apprised of her progress. This new slave is coming along well so far - it seems that developing a good slave really does require starting from scratch. While her attention span is somewhat limited, she has already proven herself capable of keeping the other two slaves on their toes. She doesn't yet have my skill when it comes to keeping them up most of the night, but she is learning. She is also getting better every day when it comes to putting my fur in its proper place. She can sometimes pulls a bit hard on my neck fur, but I will be lenient with her for now... she is, after all, still learning.

Aside from the heat and my amazing past, I think I may finally be making some progress in digging through that blasted invisible wall the house-slaves seem to find it so infernally easy to get through.

One day a few days ago my incredible senses picked up air moving through the wall. The pattern on the wall's surface has changed too and this is of course due to the hard work I've put in with my iron claws. It's now only a matter of time before I break through the wall and claim my rightful reward (which I'm sure will be incredible beyond my wildest dreams even if I haven't the slightest idea of what it is). At least that cursed Captain America has had the smarts to stay on the ground where he ended up after my last mighty attack. But I know his insolence is unending and one of these days I will again find him back on my turf. I will be ready.

I've also recently decided to punish the dirty house-slaves by not accepting the sleeping time they've set up for my rest with them. Instead I find it much more amusing to wait until my sister has taken her place on a house-slave's face and then climb the big wooden box and remove everything on top of the box surface one by one, causing one or more house slave to jump out of the sleeping den and scream in complete amazement at my genius and graceful tossing, in the process launching my sister Sera from the bed. This way I can spend all night both being worshipped and watching my sister be tossed repeatedly from her rest. This also particularly amazes the big dopey-looking house-slave who has spent so many nights now in worship of my skills that he is beginning to look quite haggard. I may have to take a break soon and perhaps sing him to sleep. I can't afford to lose any house staff at this point.

The house slaves have also found a new and generous way to worship me. Several times in the past few days they have lay themselves out prostrate before me and lavished attention on my fur with a long-handled massaging device of some sort. I tolerate it long enough to make it worth my while and then will return to a good resting spot to pointedly ignore them. Now I sleep.

It's been getting warm lately. Historically, I come from a very hot climate, and my natural state in this heat is to plan. I plan where to nap, and later I plan where I should stretch, and then I plan where I shall sleep all day. After that, I like to plan a snack, which of course is followed by my planned defacement of items my slaves seem to think belong to them. They do need to be put in their place from time to time, you know.

There was noise last week during my planned naptime... a noise of a sort I have not heard in thousands of years. The banging on the roof above, the tearing and ripping and general chaos - it terrified my sister, and she fled to underneath tables and couches until it went away. At one point the ceiling even caved in... the destruction was really quite impressive, I was starting to admire their work actually before they finally just stopped and disappeared. I had been beginning to wonder if my enemies had somehow tracked me down to this life and were once again at my doorstep, ready to kill me once more. I wonder if they had any idea what form I have taken?

There's something I haven't told all of you slaves yet. You see, in my last life, I was a mighty Pharaoh. Thousands of human slaves waited on me, and answered to my every whim. It was a life to behold, my past - decadence beyond belief. I started a war once because the food that was brought to me was a little too over-ripe... ah, those were the days. I really don't know what happened, but something went wrong at some point and my enemies overcame my forces, breaking in to my quarters and assaulting my very person. In the last moments of my life, Bastet herself came to me in a vision. I demanded that she reincarnate me as a cat, so as to continue the worship that I was so worthy of, and naturally, due to my incredible charm, she did just that.

Eventually.

And so here I am now. I think perhaps Bastet made a mistake, bringing me back now. I am not certain how I ended up in limbo for so very long (it was tedious and boring, but gave me plenty of time to ruminate on my own greatness,) but it seems that these new slaves are terrible at worshipping, thinking they own things and deigning to ignore my requests for food, access to the outside, snacks, demands for entertainment, and so on. It's like they don't realize how awesome I truly am.

In other news, My sister is freaking me out right now. I wish she would stop staring at me that way...

The slaves have left. They disappeared nights and nights ago. Sometimes another couple of slaves comes into my space and provide me with food, and I tolerate their presence for a little while. I am beginning to figure it out, though. I think the new slaves stole the old ones. Both of these new servants were here right before the slaves vanished, and one of them even left the through the door with them.

Of course, this means I must declare war on them. They will understand my rage and feel its fury. The taller one sometimes tries to sleep here. I have been putting my best effort into preventing his sleep when he is here. I believe I've also managed to leave my droppings in suitable places to get their attention.

My sister is probably part of this plot too. She always wanted that stupid bowl bed all to herself, and the slaves kept sitting in it and pushing her out. I think maybe she will have to pay for this insolence, it's her fault that they're gone! That does it, no more being nice to her. By the time I'm done with her she won't have any fur left, I tell you. It will not be pretty.

The he-slave is slowly being taken over by an evil beast.

I noticed it some time ago - at the end of his petting appendage, which is reserved only for me (and perhaps sometimes my sister,) there is this strange hard thing. He waved it in my face one day - I was not amused. Rather than a nice comfortable scritch from the he-slave, there is this slippery thing.

I am now convinced that this thing is EVIL and must be ERADICATED.

A few nights ago I began stalking it. I think the he-slave thought it was a game, but he is sadly mistaken. This is NO GAME, it is deadly serious. I will destroy this creature of evil and make it pay for its insolence in denying me scritches.

Last night while the he-slave slept, I planned and carried out a preliminary attack. With incredible stealth, I launched myself across the room in deadly silence and assaulted the offending digit. It was only a preliminary attack, however, designed to seek out this creature's weaknesses and learn how I can best exploit them. When I attacked, it withdrew to safety behind some part of the he-slave.

I have spent today stalking it, keeping it guessing with feints and attacks from nowhere. Soon it will walk right into my paws, and it will pay the ultimate price. Soon it will be mine, I say.

The she-slave has a wonderful new source of heat and comfort. She puts it on my standard sleeping surface (her lap) and it emanates a lovely heat. I've discovered that the best way to take advantage of this new heat source is to lie partially on her leg and partially on the flat part of the hot thing itself. Sometimes the she-slave's arm gets in the way, so I lie on that too.

What I really like about the thing is the top half that glows and shows me pretty pictures and moving things. I've been trying to catch the things, but they have eluded me so far. I will catch one of those blobs yet, I tell you...