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Dayle the Mighty Hunter and Gatherer
23 December 2005 @ 11:27 am
I have a cold. This fills me with the fury of a thousand suns, and causes me to attack my sister Sera. It is obviously her fault that I am having such discomfort.

I truly despise sneezing, especially when the goo comes out of my nose and sticks to my whiskers. I have tried to explain my pain and suffering to the houseservants, but they have taken to ignoring me in the past few seconds. For this I will have to make them pay. Only this morning I stood at the invisible wall and demanded they let me out to do my business, but they did not. I was forced to use the inside box.

She thinks that all I can type is lklkkl;l;;;l; as that is all I show her when I help her write things on the glowing box.

Ooh maybe there is food in the bowl. I must go look.
Current Mood: what?
Current Music: Happy Birthday to me - Cracker
Dayle the Mighty Hunter and Gatherer
23 December 2005 @ 03:23 pm
The man houseservant hasn't been here all day, which means I am free to do whatever I like without his interference. The woman houseservant was here long enough to provide me with food, for which I headbutted her with some affection. She did, however, leave shortly after that, which annoyed me since I want a warm lap to occupy.

To protest her having left, I took two of the cushions off the couch and dumped them on the floor, then slept on the third. By the time she got back, I was fast asleep - she then woke me up by opening one of the window-coverings. For a moment I thought she might let me out, which nearly made me feel bad about the couch cushions, but alas, it was a false hope. I feel justified.

Now that she is home and sitting in front of the glowing box, I've taken over her warm lap and am typing this while she's distracted with her music. I sneezed all over her and got goo on her arm, which is retribution for her not letting me outside.

She has not actually let me outside for about 4 years now. I continue to demand that she do so, and she seems too stupid to figure it out. I will keep trying. Maybe there is hope for her yet, after all, she does have a warm lap.
Current Music: Toad the Wet Sprocket - All I want
Dayle the Mighty Hunter and Gatherer
23 December 2005 @ 11:56 pm
The man-slave came back with some other slaves to entertain me. They made funny noises for a while which I tolerated as I needed more time to dig through the ground to freedom. Soon I realized that the unthinkable had happened. No one was paying attention to me and it was time to put them in their place.

I announced my presence and they rushed to obey me, and worship me properly. Now I don't understand their guttural grunts and funny sounds but I'm certainly intelligent enough to know that they are always talking about me. The new woman-slave never left my side , which is no more than obvious. Yet there is only so much adoration even I can take so eventually I came to the conclusion that she must be destroyed.

I grasped her in my mighty claws and sunk my teeth in and she was so.... terrified.... that I decided to show compassion and let her live. I think she may have been so traumatized by the experience that both her and the other boring man-slave were driven completely from my domain but I certainly have better things to do then babysit some wayward peons no matter how much they may adore me.

Yes, I let them go and I have better things to do. My own house servants have now retired to their glowing boxes where they await my whims. Soon they will attempt sleep but I'm sure they will not be able to, because tonight the invisible wall will be broken and they will finally see my greatest triumph. Tonight I will finally get to that place where I have been trying to get. Tonight is the night! I'm very excited and the house servants will also be excited and I will make sure they are awake to see my moment arrive! And we will all sing of this great victory for days!! Yes it's all coming together nicely and as soon as I get a little snack I will do whatever it is I am going to do. As soon as I clear the desk here, it's too cluttered....
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Goldfinger - My Everything